picture by
Paul Grace
I haven't written much about the Hard-Ons from Stockholm on this
page until now, there was just this short and super enthusiast
post in October 2019
about the release of the
Shrimp Sessions videos, and then nothing.
There are several reasons to that, the first one is that the idea of this
blog is to write about very recent releases and the VBs have not delivered
much since late 2019, the second one is that what they did deliver was
quite a disappointment... to me at least.
But let's take a step back:
When Consistency of Energy and Call of The Wild were
released in 2016 and 2017 it was a total shock to me, where the hell was that super
catchy kinda weird post-punk coming from ?
And I know I was not the only one to be totally blown away by the dark
and slow build up of
Baby Teeth or by the catchy as fuck, satirical and stupid
Research Chemicals which perfect bass line made their waters break to many...
Welcomed as the Messiah: a new band with a satirical but fun super rock'n roll attitude and a
killer sound... finally!
(and some killer artwork, by Sebastian, on top of that!)
Ok I was a bit disappointed by the price of the records, the "let's keep
it rare and expensive" marketing strategy... but well... I was just too
enthusiast to really care. These records are gems period!
(I even put two VB tracks in my 2018 compilation)
Of course it was the perfect recipe for success: a
semi-charismatic/semi-self-destructive leader full of rock'n roll tattoos,
stories about drugs and stupid semi-provocative/semi-stupid stuff, some
super catchy and easy-to-dance-on-even-when-wasted-AF riffs... how could first
world hipsters not be seduced by the romanticism of the great rock'n roll
swindle?...
I mean good for the VBs! If the morons are buying, let's go full way and take
all we can as long as it works, right ? and if the music is good, well
it's even better! They're not the first and won't be the last, everybody has
bills to pay!
These guys are not teenage hipsters, some of them were in proper metal
and punk bands, I mean there are two ex-Nitad
in there, nobody's against a bit of success here and there, right?
And
when you read some of their interviews
these guys seem definitely quite fun to hang out with...
So what's the problem?
Well there was this sentence from Sebastian: "But after I wrote the EP I didn’t have anything left to write about so
I just winged it, and then I realised months afterwards that it had a
deeper meaning." in the above mentioned interview.
So I thought: humm these guys know they got something super valuable and
they will keep going as much as possible even if they're totally out of
ideas and inspirations. That's what most bands which got a big success at
the beginning actually do, and don't get me wrong: it's completely
understandable... even The Clash in their time you know (hallowed
be their names).
So I got a bit worried about what was going to come
next.
And then Street Worms was released... At first I was not
completely convinced, Ok there were some good tracks and they tried a
couple of different things, why not, it's good to keep moving, but overall
you could smell a discreet and diffuse perfume... the smell of "ok we're
not sure what we're doing but let's hope it will keep the hype high" you
know.
And the marketing strategy? god they went full way into digital marketing, super expensive stupid merchandise, a deal with
Rough Trade, no bandcamp, only digital streaming on mainstream
platforms and all that bullshit...
And obviously these things... well these things tend to annoy me...
But ok I am a bit demanding maybe, it's a good album, I enjoy it.
Really, I do.
I'm not stupid, I had understood for a while already what kind of
money machine the VBs had become but as I was still reasonably enjoying
their music I was still interested you know... (after all I don't
exclusively
enjoy underground bands, who am I to judge?).
And then came Common Sense... and the
"What the fuck is this shit ???" reaction.
Ok the running joke about the Shrimp industry was quite funny, the
mini youtube series was kinda fun but waaaay too much (in my humble
opinion)... so I gave up!
It was a bit like when The Clash dropped Sandinista, you
had to make a decision (and if you were still there when they released
Combat Rock... well regrets were all you had left)!
Soooo.... now let's talk about Welfare Jazz!
It starts with the catchy I ain't Nice which haunting bass
line recalls the hits from the VB previous releases, it's (nicely)
provocative, fun and kinda "wobbly" (in a good way). Indeed it's to
Jazz Welfare what Down In The Basement was to
Street Worms... so it starts tasting like reheated can food... but ok let's cheer up.
And then it starts falling apart...
In the middle of a succession of really average songs (the new wave~ish
Creatures, the instrumental 6-shooter, Secret Canine Agent...), Sebastian's crew drops a bunch of wannabe sarcastic
tracks (the bluesy Toad, the terrible indie/folk ballads
Into The Sun and I feel Alive), which, at best, will put a
little amused smile on your face for a second.
Ok there is Girls & Boys in the end which got a cool "crazy saxophone" vibe on a vintage disco background but.... hum no...
And the worst comes at the very end as the awful country song parody To The Country is followed by In Spite of Ourselves which features Amy (from Amy And The Sniffers) for something I can only describe as a pathetic and painful song... it's just a disaster (even for a parody)!
And OK I see the point of Amy's featuring (her band has been quite successful in the past years as well and everybody wants here, even Sleaford Mods) but seriously there wasn't anything better you could have done with her? really?
What's next? A Kiss parody with Idles and The Chats ?? Come on!
Ok ok that's enough! I stop here.
I usually don't write anything about bands or albums I don't like (I find it way more interesting to write about stuff I like) but I felt like sharing here (it's cheaper than a shrink after all) a bit of my passionate (one-way) relationship history with the swedes on pills...
And it's done!
I give way to hipsters and snobs of all stripes...
who, I'm sure, will enjoy it all very much!
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